With an expected slaughter in the small cow paddocks of Midland against the hard at it Wembley boys, and the BB Vets down on numbers you could not have blamed the old boys for folding open the deck chairs and opening the eskyâs at the first bounce. This however did not happen much to the disgust of all 19 blokes who bravely showed their face for the game. As it happens we were all keen for a beer before the game but everyone forgot to suggest it until afterwards! Bunch of losers! Another hard running tough game to remain undefeated. Must be 39 undefeated games (and some poor score tallying) as a vets club. Unbelievable record.
An average start was achieved as the jumpers were unfolded in the change rooms to the ripe old smell of stale sweat, vomit, blood and probably herpes from their last users. To top that Biscuits had a pre game case of Roger Rabbitâs Repugnant Runs in an attempt to override the stale unwashed jumper smell. Tapps forgot his boots and his head (but wouldnât admit to the head) and the Rat joined us for a run. Thanks Rat and thanks for the boots and water Chesty (2).
Special mention to Rexy for looking after us and for washing your white socks with your orange jocks. Mate, white and orange donât mix!
Here are the highlights of round three:
Rambo: Went the hard ball a few too many times and paid the price. Got crunched frequently. Learn to hang back more buddy. Hard ball gets are for losers.
Spacko: Game three and confidence is improving in spades. Loves to play on even when being tackled. Got called for running to far after bouncing. Youâre fooling us old blokes by running mate. This is vets! Needs a new nickname after vomiting for the third week in a row (come on boys, you can think of something). This time 10 minutes after the game had finished.
Langers: Beautifully set up by his team mates on many an occasion but continued to present. Played all over and loves the contested ball. Way too fit.
Biscuits: Had a quit game by his standards due to only one functional hamstring and after possibly a bad curry indicated by that shocker in the dunny before the game. I have seen seagulls hop with only one leg. Toughen up son!
Big Brad: How can this guy go two years without a good nick name. You boys are soft. Racked up the possessions in the guts and presented all day. Steps and turns well for a big man. Forgot to kick it to Tugâ¦bad.
Tapps: After forgetting his boots, stole Chestyâs and then forgot to stop after cleaning up Wembley blokes. One bloke saw stars as Paves back stepped with agility as the freight train came past. Ran all day and was a great link out off defence. Lost his neck in a tackle as Rexy called âfair bump, play onâ!
Simmo: After losing a midweek fight with a tree stump, fronted up well. Got smashed frequently at half back before finishing with a few good grabs at half forward. Must be sore today!
Buzz: Sensational point from 20m out directly in front. Made me proud! Continued to present all day at CHF and took some strong marks. Found the only washed jumper in the bag âbastard!
Hoff: Wore his wifeâs socks again. Probably had her G-string on too. Gave up chasing his man after he stepped 3m over the boundary line and called Rexy in for the throw in. Played his usual tough game for an old fella.
Tugga: Got a bath (with soap and bubbles) early in the back pocket before taking advice from Princess (ârun off, donât man up back thereâ). The uncontested game worked to his advantage and he pulled in a few charity kicks towards the final siren. Failed to notice a well disguised goal square during a kick in (couldnât believe the umpire noticed) and ran 3m over the line. The sun must have been reflecting into his eyes off Rexyâs socks.
Robbo: Good performance in the forward pocket. Hard to see from the back pocket (hint!) but played well. Seriously in need of a nick name!
Jimmy: Strong hands at full back from this first game virgin. Came of like Kerry in the third after severe all over body cramp and an electrolyte imbalance (not enough beer).
PB: Moved forward from full back to the back pocket. At this rate may be in the forward line by 2020. Another strong defensive game.
Paves: Slapped off opponents with ease and five lightning quick steps (before tiring). Kept going all day. Maybe too sore to wake up at all today.
Slimey: Slipped through the lines all day at half back. Fell on the end of some shocking Tugga passes. Failed to put in the extra effort to make me look good.
Cambo: Slipped home from Thailand in style. Played the loose man in defence with aplomb. Found space on the half back line repeatedly and drifted forward for some exceptional points.
Grumpy: Shoulder came good for some strong marks. A few goals early to set up the first half dominance. Scared his opponent by looking nasty and threatening to squirt sauce on him.
Princess: Auspicious debut this year with three or four goals. Strong hands and even some centre clearance work. Better player than umpire. May have had trouble breathing after swallowing the whistle a fortnight ago.
Rat: A ring in from the Saints. Struggled with the jumper sizes (and the tang). Found the footy in close.
If Iâve been a bit soft on anyone let me know and I can give you a better sledge next game.
We need a few new nicknames for Rob, Brad, Jimmy and Chris! Come on boys, donât be nice!
Last Modified on 09/06/2009 19:47