Thank the heavens there were no rash players with a side of herpes to infect the true form of the mighty Bulldogs! The dirty cats nearly interrupted the bulldogs run of wins. With the superior fitness and everlasting strength the Doggies showed that skill and commitment to playing real football results in a 25 pt win. Well done Brentwood Booragoon Super Vets!
Bucket: Crawled out of his birth chamber to star all day. Crept up on you as buckets do, to sink a pearler in the last. Buckets are way better than billies.
Rhys (Whiz the 5th Wiggle): Parted the two tall timbers in the hard fought 2nd quarter with a much needed 6 pointer to keep us in the game. A.k.a Twinkle toes as he missed a sitter from 2 metres out because he had no right foot, or maybe it was the wiggly white boots, in the last quarter.
Spacko: True to form and mouthed off a beauty at the fill-in umpire. Uncharacteristically had much less to say to the senior umpire. 3 and a half hours sleep for the whole weekend (a tad more than me) seemed to be a good tactic for his game plan, as once again, he ran rings around the opposition. Unlucky to not kick a bagfull . . . possibly all the grass in his eyes.
Clancy of the Overflow (Tthank god no-one f*cked with his magnets): Someone yelled out “Great game Trav” and he quite humbly said “Yeah well what do you expect?” Bulldog brilliant! Last quarter came home strong with a plethora of championship performances. ..3 six point pearlers.
Tugga Tugga Tugga: Too soft to do the write up because (&*^$#&%(*&)* (^&$&^*(* (&%^&%&). Enjoy your trip tomorrow and early night. Took some good marks but had as much space as Andre the Giant in a Garuda aeroplane toilet when he tried to play on.
Thirsty Taps: Unloaded with a mighty shot at goal from 65m out, just stopped on the line unfortunately. Toiled extremely well in the half back line all day against a team of head-hunters, which of course he took in his stride. Top game Taps. Sucked in Eastern Hills.
Chesty Bonds: The Quiet Achiever Did well all day again – hope the ankle pulls up well? Several telling marks and quick effective kicks to advantage. New nick name Cameron Ling although not because he is the best looking player in AFL, just very effective.
(The Mighty)Hoff: Was he there today? I think we saw him at some stage get 20 touches in 1 quarter. . . not sure which one. I think he said something to me at the end of the game. . . Oh yes great win Hawks over Richmond by 3 points. Come to think of it he was the last one there.
Bodes (dunk him in the river) aka Penny (I think we’ve found a nickname): Did well to escape a free kick before the game when he didn’t look at the All Powerful Whiteboard and was the 5th man in the square. Ran and ran and ran and ran and how do you spell ran or did he just run until his hammy snapped. Looked rather striking with a lump of ice strapped to his arse after the game.
(Can't) Reado (Can't writo)Thank God for the three Musketeers. Can't think of a time he wasn't being mugged by 4 stray cats. . . . except when he spent the last quarter on the bench. Hard ball gets, contested possessions, in and unders and just plain tough times with a bunch of dumb bastards for opposition. Luck to come out unscathed.
Langers (aka Langtrees): Love you long time. Once again put his arse on the line for all the boys in the centre, and God he loves it. Played well all day too. Had a blinder and imagine what could have happened if he got a possession. Not to mention the 6 marks he took in 2 minutes.
Rambo aka Butterfly (Last Blood): Played his usual fancy pantsy, sold the dumb bastard, lazy loping, aggressive play. Nearly got caught holding the ball for the first time this year. Heaps of goal assists and more than enough of his share of the ball as usual.
Lionel Richo Richie “it is me you are looking for”:Fighting off the b.o.g reputation must be hard work. Constantly taking the mark when you’re not expected to, swooping on the h.b.gets pisses everyone off especially the dirty cats. Well done Lionel again dancing on the ceiling! I feel sorry for the loser that plays on you next game.
Harps(ichord): Was hummed into action and played a sweet tune all day. Struggled at ground level after multiple kicks to the head. Didn't faze him in the slightest. Great day out in the park.
Buzz Light (maybe in a) Year: Put ‘im in the forward line, he didn’t score. Put ‘im in the back line they didn’t score. Where do we put ‘im now? Lightyears ahead of the Neanderthal opposition. Another walk in the park. After all diesels are stronger than steamers (just a little slower).
Marshal the Swampy: Some talented defence with his casual marks and play-on clearances kept the cats at bay. Played on perhaps the fattest most able player on the cats team. Kept him to a piss weak two goals. Even when a bulldog reverse elbow snap hold was applied, the fatso still managed to mark the ball in his massive guts. What do you do? Well done Swampy!
Dirty Sanchez: With the family of support present, lucky the cats didnR17;t start an all in brawl again. Could've seen the full blown dirty SanChez crew take out the wholly litter of strays. Strong in defence and was lost out of back pocket. Great game old el paso.
Soggy Bicuits: By now I am sick to death of writing so it may go downhill from here. Came last on the bickie and had to eat it just prior to the game. No-one knew, hence the nickname. Inspirational out of the centre. Cleaned up around the edges and swallowed the hard balls. Was a shining light in the dark.
Rowdy: Ever heard of the saying “sit on this and rotate”. Played well but was outpointed by the more experienced and fatter, fat c#@t opposition ruckman. Ran them - and himself - off their feet in the second with lightning bursts of speed to set up an all in doggies slaughter of a final quarter.
Master(baiter) Hear no, see no, speak heaps. Was well below his lofty standards for 3 quarters and then erupted like a 30 year old virgin in a gigilo parlour with 4 goal assists and a dozen possessions . . . not to mention my 2 points.
Wayno: Kicked a magnificent goal in the second quarter to keep us doggies in the hunt. Tried to do it again a bit later but kicked out on the full and 20m short from 15 out. Tiny still owes you a beer. Great to see you back on the park.
Noodlerama: The team would be rooted without you. I mean we would get a hell of a lot more pussy from the skanky ho’s on Thursday evenings without you. He he he. Your inspirational play in the backline sent shivers through my knees let alone yours. What were you doing in the marking contest with someone with two good knees and twice your weight? The bench has never anticipated more pain.
Dozer: Started the game in dazzling fashion . . . on the bench. Then came on in the second quarter and showed marvellous hands with a half volley pick up at top (maybe) pace. Proceeded to pull a calf in the ensuing handball. Spent the rest of the game analysing the opposition and icing his injury.
Big Tim aka Tiny: Had less possessions than Dozer but about the same amount of time on the ground. What does that say? Worst game of his career. Will try harder next time. Maybe its his lack of commitment after Thursday night training.
Kent Brockman: Read the news well earlier on and then came to the game. Had some glorious runs around the ground and got a few hard earned kicks. HEY UMPY you heard of 50 metres?
Paves: Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. New name Cotter. Spewing when they moved the goal post but should be used to it because they do it nearly every match. Bursting runs out of centre half back. Dominated the wing from half forward and you were supposed to be in the forward pocket. Talk about take it easy.
Authorised by Tugga. Produced by Tugga. Directed by Tugga. Edited and sent by someone else.
Last Modified on 19/01/2011 00:59