Another round one blitz and the Bulldogs were on fire, or at least a slow sizzle. Everyone had been looking forward to the first game for at least 5 or 10 minutes and then we were away. Eight on the bench was a record for the club. After contemplating not having a team a fortnight ago we broke a club record for numbers at least. Ability, maybe a close second!. It’s always a good friendly game with the Crocs and this was no exception. Special mention to Tex for umpiring for us., although a little harsh, with Buzz not getting even one free kick. All his winging was surely worth at least one, even to just shut him up. Also, special mention to Tiny for coaching. Even better job than at last years wind up. Special mention for forgetting how many players we had on and after dragging Reido because he could not count to 18, before sending him back on. Special thanks to Tex for a great job in yellow. Next time I’ll pass you a extra lobster if you send off Biscuits for arguing.
Apologies up front fellas but for the new blokes the write up is not about how well you play but the crap that I remember or can make up. No offence but in the typical Aussie tradition it is a sledge fest so beware if you get of lightly this week , next game will hurt!
Highlights include:
- Buzz: Played in the back line and ran at least 10 metres all day. Forgot to man up, kick a goal and pass to his own team. Pretty good game! Sowed up centre half back all year after that performance. Stocked up on snakes before the bounce which made the jumper a bit tight!
- Noodles: Showed his pace in the forward and back line and turned like a Mack truck to dazzle the opposition. Great organizational effort first up for the season.
- PB: Played forward after his mate put him at full forward. Kicked a goal and presented well for a fullback. Claimed after the game that he could count his goals on one hand. Sure PB, if you’re missing four fingers!
- Tug: Was courage personified as he forgot to tackle and go the hard ball. Consistently missed targets all day by foot. Cleaned up Spacko in front of the fans, obviously just to please the crowd.
- Wayno: Kicked a goal, but more importantly talked about it for at least an hour after the game. Must have been a beauty!
- Biscuits: The new Mr Angry! After his opponent ran into him with head down and bounced off his gut, and then received a free kick. He complained like a little girl. Made a captain’s speech at three quarter time that must have pushed us over the line. Inspirational stuff! Told me he had a bounce after the game but I didn’t see it so he was probably just talking Shiite.
- Rowdy 1: Was big and tall and dodged a bit and even took a mark and ran around. Relished the opportunity to play unaccountable (again) footy in the forward line but I can’t remember him kicking a goal. Maybe I’m just getting old!
- Hibbo: Started on a wing after trying to play on his own team player at Half forward (the forward line was already full, but nice try). Was not happy but played on anyway. Lifted one leg of the ground for a mark and later called it a screamer.
- Scotty: Presented well and forgot to get smashed. Your not giving me much to write about. No black jackers, no broken nose, no nothing. A few goals and a stencil of kicks just ain’t cricket
- Bodes: A vets virgin. Played mostly midfield and will get a bagging after only kicking three (I obviously can’t count). Knows were to find the footy but as usual failed to kick it to me when I was begging for a goal. Shit boys if the new blokes won’t kick it to me then no one will!
- Bucket: Did some good things in the back line and layed a few tackles (miracle). Has obviously found his possy. Made the highlights real after trying to play on when three meters over the boundary line. I know your eyes are bad old man but come on!
- Chez: Played well ! Kicked it to me so he won’t get a bagging. Had the halfa thing going (half beard/half not) which scared the opposition into kicking it out on the full every time he went for the ball.
- Spacko: Took a sensational pack mark before kicking into the man on it! Laid way too many tackles and earned a few free kicks. Got flattened on a wing by a rampaging Tug who was obviously too scared to take out the opposition player and so took out his own.
- Tapps: Kicked what must be his first goal for the club, after fifty eight seasons, but wasn’t it a beauty. Played a screamer game after one training session. Quite now mate.! It won’t get better than that!
- Paves: After meeting Buzz “there”; played his usual unselfish speedy game. Must have picked up a yard or two over summer (and put it under his shirt). Very handy having players that dish it out!
- Rambo: Hated the back pocket ! It nearly killed him to be that close to the opposition goals. Found some space on a wing later in the game much to his relief but was still not happy.
- Brenno: Picked up an allergy from the bench, doesn’t like it there. Played back most of the day and kicked out well. Didn’t run out of the square on kick in even once.
- Riedo: Another vets virgin. Came with Paves , so was lucky to make it. Had to beg to get on the field after Buzz fell in love with CHB.
- Brockman or Clarko: Picked up a new nick name. Would have been called Superman but forgot to wear his jocks outside his shorts. Crashed a few packs and took out Tugga so was always going to get bagged.
- Seano: Crunched some poor Bas%tard in the third and ‘accidentally’ smashed another bloke in the second quarter. Didn’t say much other than ‘sorry mate’!
- Symmo: Found his home in the back line now that PB has smoked up the forward line. Never fear mate, it always busy back here with us!
- Wiz: Way too long out of the game. Has forgotten that umps don’t give away cheap frees, you actually have to mark it! Played with his hair a lot and forgot to wash the starch out of his shorts.
- Langers: Typical hard running display, but hand balled too often. Likes it in tight or so his mates tell me!
- Hoff: Took a few good marks for a grey man. Ran on a bit and drifted both forward and back. Good game bro! (you owe me a bourbon for that write up). Plays better with a hamburger and video camera though.
- Swampy: Had the ball on a string for part of the game, unfortunately the string got caught around his ankles and the opposition pounced. Pinged for one beautiful holding the ball as he was tackled by twelve players after dodging the other six.
Who did I forget!
Special mention to Grumpy (who prefers to be called Mr Happy) for playing, not playing, playing, not playing, playing, not playing.
Well, that’s the first one away. Ten more to go. No injuries which is a miracle. See you next time. And if you think I’ve been a bit harsh, kick it to me more often and you’ll get a better write up -----or not!
If I missed your e-mail then forward it on!
Last Modified on 19/01/2011 00:49