Silvertale e-zine

14 Years On & Still Strong - The Silvertale

The "Silvertale Gazette" was started in 1996 by Riversdale legend and self-confessed "Sheffield United Tragic", Martin Witheford. The Silvertale began life as a single A4 sheet folded in half and has steadily gone through various incarnations, as a booklet-style publication to its current form as a semi-semi-regular web-based newsletter.  Its main thrust is a (usually) humorous look at the goings-on inside Riversdale SC .

If you are interested in contributing to the Silvertale, please email peter.maddox@riversdalesc.com

 


2010 Edition #1  April 8th

Controversy has engulfed Provisional League powerhouse Riversdale SC on the eve of the 2010 season, as news has escaped the confines of the Camberwell-based colossus that First Team Coach Stuart McArthur has refused to take the season "One Game at a Time".

 

After more than three seasons at the helm, filled with relegation dog-fights, dizzying unbeaten runs and heart-breaking promotion near-misses, club insiders are concerned that grappling with the "Hardest Job in World Football" has finally cracked the "hard nut" of Eastern Suburbs soccer.

 

Renowned for his cliché-laden half-time dummy spits, Stu has been displaying a more philosophical side to his coaching, eschewing any and all clichés, truisms and hackneyed catch-cries for the 2010 season.

 

"It started off slowly", a club insider told the Silvertale. "At first he just mentioned that football was 'not necessarily a game of two halves', and that 'it was not just 11 against 11'. Then he surprised us all with the statement that '2-nil is not the most dangerous lead in football'! Before long we were really becoming concerned, especially when he came out with 'the bigger they are, the softer they fall' and followed it up with 'let go of that bird in the hand and have a go at the two in the bush!' It's now reached plague proportions! In a recent practice match he was heard to say 'we're not waiting for the Fat Lady, this game is over!' and he also reckons the opposition 'aren't just like us, they probably don't put their trousers on one leg at a time!'

 

But the Riversdale supremo really set tongues wagging at his regular Thursday night Press Conference at Riversdale's state-of-the-art training bungalow, musing that he was refusing to take it "one game at a time", claiming his team would "walk through the first five Rounds and set up a great clash with Whitehorse in Round 6".

 

"It's reaching crisis point" admitted Club President John McPhee. "It's at the point where, if he reckons we are "NOT only as good as our last result", then we will seriously have to look at a change of Coach. Of course, until that happens he will have the "Full Support of The Committee".

As all football insiders know, "Glamour Club" Riversdale SC is never far from controversy. Last year's season opener also became headline news after the Coaching staff's much-maligned "rope-a-dope" tactics badly back-fired. After viewing a motivational pre-season screening of the Ali-Foreman documentary "When We Were Kings", the coaching staff controversially decided to employ the same tactics that won Ali the "Rumble in the Jungle". After absorbing immense pressure from Lyndale United and going behind 8-0, the 'Dales hit back late in the game, scoring a last-minute goal to peg the score back to 8-1.

 

“It looked like a great plan,” Assistant Coach Dave Azzopardi told The Silvertale. “Ali huddled up against the ropes for several early rounds, absorbing such a pounding that everyone, including Foreman, pretty much assumed the bout was over. We all know how that fight worked out, so we decided to employ the same tactics. In hindsight, Ali also had the plan of coming off the ropes and hammering his tired opponent. That was the bit we overlooked. Oh, and also the bit about it being a boxing match rather than football...” 

 

As the season draws near, the Riversdale faithful can only hope that the lads can do as their gaffer insists and "dig to a moderately shallow depth" and "bring the smallgoods within sight of home".

 

Those of you who wish to see the season opener, our first-up opponents are Skye United, who "Once Were Carrum". They are now playing at:

 

Skye Recreational Reserve, Ballarto Road, Skye (Melway Ref: 132 E7)

 

Kick-offs are 1pm for the Rezzies and 3pm for the Firsts.

 

We are all hopeful of a stoush to rival the "Rumble in the Jungle" and the "Thriller in Manila", but given that we haven't won the season-opener since 1996, it's probably more "Pie in the Skye" that we will bring home the 3 points. Then again, just about anything would be an improvement on last year's throat clearer against Lyndale.

 

Best Wishes to all the lads on Saturday and best of luck to the Coaches Stu Mc, Azza and George Tidd.

 

 

 

 

 

Until next time.

 


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