Shady Punter Round 1 Preview
Old Montreal Dockers v Montreal Demons
12.30pm Vanier College
Umpire: Phil Manassa
A new season; new faces; new feelings! Heading into the first round matchup between the Old Port Dockers and the Montreal Demons, both squads want to know what it feels like to win! It’s something neither team has been used to these past few seasons, but following this year’s draft, both teams suddenly feel as though they can compete!
While the Demons will want to forget how last year ended – the Dockers will be feeding off of it. A powerful finish saw the Dockers almost make it into the final. Regrettably their ill-advised strategy of only scoring behinds against the Bombers let them down. In an attempt to change their fortunes the Dockers went out and snagged Aaron Fellows to potentially add to a forward line of Neil Koch and fan favorite, AFL Quebec legend and thoughtful lover, Randy Andrada! Rucking will be Andrew Mattern – who will finally give the Dockers the size they lacked all of last season. One thing is for certain Ronan the Magic Mullet will pace the Dockers. With a never die spirit and unparalleled intensity the National Team member will run himself and his team into the ground for victory!!! Then the warm up will end. Right around the time the Magic Mullet will be starting the Dockers warm-up (2 hours prior to game time), Justin Leyva will be pulling out of his driveway. During the World Cup a few players learned to ask not for whom the Bell tolls because Bells will blow right by you if you do. Where will the Magic Mullet decide to use Bells speed? Will Bells and Bogdan race to the swings and back to see who’s the fastest? Shady thinks – well, now they have to.
It took Lucky Luke O’Farrel a full year to recover from the loss of Dan Robinson. During that year things got dark – literally. Lucky Luke decided that if Dan Robinson wasn’t going to be a Demon, well then he would have no choice. He would have to live like an owl. Feeding on mice, chipmunks and other small rodents Lucky Luke had a hoot. When he finally managed to recover from the loss of his friend the Robin; he came away with the greatest draft haul in AFL Quebec history. With a core group that includes Morgan Whyte (Player of the Year runner up 2014), Kyle Graham (the most prolific goal scorer in AFLQ history), Nico (I don’t know how my fist hit your nose…face…ribs…sack) Pouessel and Lucky Luke himself – he somehow managed to snag a group of “rookies” who will immediately step in and be impact players. With a “rookie” class including the likes of Zac Brandstater, Andrew Michelmore, Matt Ingersole and Ash Patel (just to name a few) the Demons will be looking to use their collection of wooden spoons to beat their bare assed opponents senseless. How did Lucky Luke pull this off? Bribery? Blackmail? We’ll call it an AFL Quebec mystery.
Now if you ever find yourself east of the 25, where two rivers become one and an old willow tree hides the sunrise. Be sure to listen closely and you may hear the children sing with hopes of Lucky Luke the owl appearing:
Lucky Luke the owl hoots
Putting on his footy boots.
This year begins a series of wins
For the insatiable fiery Demons!
Demons win by 5 goals.
NDG Giants v Rideau Shamrocks,
Umpire: Bogdan Rotaru
The first women’s game of the year will pit the champion NDG Giants against newcomers Rideau Shamrocks. In what promises to be an amazing game, there are several rookies that the crowd will be in awe at!
The NDG Giants are going to look to fill the void left behind by the departure of Aimee Legault with what this punter believes to be the highest rated rookie in the history of AFL Quebec: Valerie Moreau. She will look to bring energy and pace to a side that will be missing last year’s goal kicking winner. Rugby convert Mariette Parrod will look to add some physicality although she is under injury cloud with what the team has called a “lower body injury”. If I was a betting man, and I clearly am, she will play. Kata Polus will be a great addition to the forward line and she will use her strong right foot to kick a few goals. Vermontonian Sara James rounds out the new recruits a side that will look for repeat premierships.
The Shamrocks are going to be spearheaded by Chris “Rookie” Lockhart. Shady knows very little about this team since he was not able to travel all the way to Ottawa (due to numerous Visa issues streaming from an arrest in Montreal’s red district) to see the Ottawatians train. Vee Wynn-Williams played a few games in Montreal and we know that she can get her hand on the pill and will give the Giants quite of a bit of trouble. The rest of the team is made new and returning players such as Kelly Cambridge (Irish Gaelic convert), Amanda Smith, Kelly “Jui-Jitsu”, Roberta Kramchynsky, Christe Childers and Captain Lauren Stoot.
You have to give the Giants an advantage in this game. They are the reigning premiership champions, with a very promising roster.
Giants by 3 goals
Plateau Eagles v Carleton Warriors
Umpire: Zachary Bandstater
The second women’s game of the day will have the Plateau Eagles battle the Carleton Warriors for the 4 premiership points. Another game that can go either way but first a look at the rookies: